The Lions Roar No More

by Beatrice Caraballo
(Woodlynne, New Jersey)

Exactly One Year Ago

Exactly One Year Ago

Exactly One Year Ago
Lose of Hair and Gained Weight

Beatrice M. Caraballo is the Founder of El Coqui del Caribe Entertainment. Beatrice represents a host of Latin musicians, dancers, artists. She is a great event planner and organizer. She is part of the creative marketing teams of Landmark Productions, LLC in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, IDEA Performing Arts Center on the Camden Waterfront and Alston-Calaf & Associates Insurance, Inc.

She is also the Co-Founder & Organizer of the Annual Regional Conference of Festivals & Parades which brings over 100 representatives, from all over the East Coast. Beatrice, better known as La Gitana…served as Producer and Co-host of “De mujer a mujer y para hombres También” on Radio Unika 1270AM; radio personality on “Un Nuevo Milenio – En Blanco y Negro” with Francisco “Titi” Torres on La Zeta 1270AM for approximately 4 years. She then was co-host of “El Tampon Tampon” con DJ Frankie on Caliente 1310AM (now La Nueva Mega 1310AM) in Philadelphia for 2 years. Beatrice also worked as a Historic Preservation Consultant for 5 years in the City of Camden.
Beatrice has served as the Public Relations and Fundraising Coordinator to the Parada San Juan Bautista, Inc. for the past 8 years. She works as the Event Coordinator to the Annual Casino Night & Silent Auction hosted by the Latin American Economic Development Association, Gala & Dinner Dance hosted by Mi Casita Day Care Center and Business & Professional Reception hosted by the Parada San Juan Bautista, Inc. She is the Founder and Organizer of the Annual Market Street Car Show. She presently serves on the Board of Directors of the Camden County Hispanic Chamber of Commerce.

This is all the description of the Beatrice that existed exactly one year ago. As I share my story with you it is difficult for me to focus or even concentrate on the words I wish to say. It is painful to sit at my computer with my knees bent and my back straight. The sword ripping through my bones and the balls of spasms in my muscles is literally causing me stress and makes me question my abilities.

At times my days are friendly, but the majority of my life now is my enemy. My bed is the biggest enemy I have and the stairs follow right behind. At any given time my knees give up and I loose balance to only meet the ground. My screams are heard by my neighbors at night because I am so weak. I have been forced to walk with a cane so I don't loose balance outside these four walls in public (which is not something I like to do anymore - I prefer to stay at home).

At times too many people talking and the TV on at the same time sounds like a rock concert in my ears and in my head causing me to flee and hide in my room or basement. I use to be "Smiley Face" but now my smile is very few and in between. The anger that subsides within me because I feel this pain is in control and not me, is what appears most of the time. I don't like living like this and I want to have my control back of my own body and my own life!

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SYMPTOMS KEEP ADDING ON BUT NEVER GIVE UP
by: Beatrice Caraballo

SOME ONLY SOME Fibromyalgia Facts about My Life:

Rectal spasms: described as a cramp in the butt, that can take your breath away!

Vaginal spasm and pain: This does not have to occur during sexual activities, it can hit any time.

Severe itchiness: The constantly release of histamines. This can drive you crazy.

Sensitivity to sounds, tastes and smells:

Tooth pain and TMJ: of course the teeth are innervated by nerves which are constantly firing.

Difficulty speaking: Sometimes it is difficult to speak correctly or speak at all, so I prefer to stay quiet and to myself. Of course the tongue is a large muscle and muscles are affected by fibromyalgia.

Fibro Fog and Thoughts: Sometimes I can not seem to get my thoughts clear or someone will say something to me and my mind is so clouded, it feels like I can not understand.

Sleepness Nights: Because my nerves and muscles are constantly sparking pain and muscle spasms there are nights I do not sleep at all or may wake up in tears from all the pain causing me to be exhausted and extremely drained for days.

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction: The horrific weakening of your pelvic walls causing me to have horrendous pain and inability to walk, sit for too long or even drive. Sex is out of the equation because it causes extreme pain.

Tremors: At times when my pain is to the extreme and I have no medicine, I have uncontrollable tremors. It takes me a few to focus and control my nerves. Hence the reason why I do not go out much anymore.

These are only some of the daily things I go through (for the past 6-8 years). I do not share this for your pity, but to help so many cope and understand. I do want you to know that regardless all this I still push forward because I will ‪#‎NeverGiveUp‬


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Update
by: Beatrice Caraballo

I am now 45 years of age. I am suffering from various chronic health conditions which all cause much excruciating pain. I have Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis in both my legs, Migraines, Panic Attacks and Nervous Breakdowns, H-Pylori bacteria in my stomach,Stress Headaches, additional Breasts Calcifications,Carpal Tunnel in my left hand, Scoliosis and Lordosis in my neck and spine.

I started this new path in life of chronic pain started with a strong family support in 2010, but now I have been out of work for 3 years and so the financial strain has taken a toll on my youngest son and husband. Although my son stays quiet - my husband is now angry and believes I am lying. I refuse to totally give up on life on my daily life and still push to do my daily chores, although it takes so long to do one thing.

I do understand his stress, but do not enjoy his anger and hate toward me. In public he holds my hand and always goes to all my doctor appointments. He refuses to go into the room with me, but he drives me.

I am at his mercy and I freakin' hate it. I was always an independent woman that worked from the early age of 14. Now ... well. I told my husband I would find a job and give him the money so the bills are caught up, he can buy a car and motorcycle that he wants so bad as well as help clean up his credit so he an buy a home.

Lord please please help me stay stronger longer because you and my youngest children are my only support system I got left. It is so scary now, but I have to believe in you.

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Living a Masquerade
by: Beatrice M. Caraballo

If someone sees me in public, you would never know all the pain and struggles I go through daily. I wake up at 6 am every day but it takes my body a few to get out of bed. I have to focus on controlling the pain in my legs before I move. I then get out of bed by 7 am. I will watch church on tv from 8 am until 10 am. The lessons they teach give me the strength to go forward in my day.

I use to be involved in several organizations, but the morning meetings and all the events are just too much for me, so I resigned from many and only kept one. I use to travel across the Tri-State to meet with clients and now well I do not travel anymore. Doing work on the computer - NOT. I can be on th ecomputer maybe 30 minutes to 1 hour then the stabbing pain hits me in my neck, spine and legs all at once.

I too pay dearly for days after having a few hours of fun. I must admit, there are days in between that I feel like superwoman and abuse it to make sure I get to see the sun and visit some friends, but yes even the sun is starting to hurt my skin. I started developing this rash every single time I am in the sun for over 30 minutes.

My day continues with my house chores and taking care of my animals. Their love keeps me smiling. In between I have to take lots of breaks or slow down in my chores. I hate just sitting around or laying around because I totally feel useless. My daddy use to say, "The day I sit or lay down for too long means I am dying."

I love to see certain shows but I can not focus on any of them, so I will turn on the tv but only listen to it.

I try to live a peaceful life with positive people around me. Arguments lead me straight to the bed for days. Drain me and make me exhausted. If my sister starts arguing or complaining, I have to walk away because it takes too much out of me. I become really quiet and look for a way to hide or get away. She does not understand it, but I have to survive.

I have been living a masquerade very well. Lots of people do not understand and others don't give a damn and others think it is a simple back problem. I get tired of trying to explain all my chronic health conditions to people like this, but God says I have to be patient with everyone.

I have had several panic attacks and nervous breakdowns. I have been blessed with a fabulous husband that understands and keeps me safe when this all happens. I have also been extremely blessed with an angel, my youngest daughter. Above all God is always right here for me and with me.

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A year of living hell
by: Kymberlee

It's been a year since I have posted an update on my condition, unfortunately I do not really have anything positive to add except that Our Lord has kept me firmly in his arms because after several suicide attempts since Feb, I am still here. For unknown reasons I developed the worse case of fibromyalgia (directly quoted from my pain management MD) around Feb. The pain in my body was a 10 every single day & night. MD believes my body developed a tolerance to the methadone & morphine. So they tried suboxane, sevella and now MS Contin. None worked at providing any pain relief. I was so weak I ended up needing to wear diapers!! I was totally bed bound. I was not able to eat or even drink anything at all, not even water. I was to weak to talk on the phone, read or even listen to audio books which I would do for distraction from pain. During my last admission to hospital, they were finally able to gain some control of my pain & when discharged from hospital I was able to walk 20ft with assistance. It's really been quiet the roller coaster experience with this disease. I was recently started on doxepin for sleep because I also developed severe insomnia & anxiety. Well the doxepin has actually helped in making the MS Contin relief my pain much better. And has helped some with the anxiety. Satan really took me for a whirl wind! I have kept the faith (though obviously failing at time to be as strong as I should've been) but it's all so very very exhausting. So at present time, I am able to better manage the pain, the MS Contin for some odd reason has increased my appetite to the total opposite extreme, now I'm always hungry. So Needless 2 say, my appetite has returned. Since my pain is controlled I'm better able to fight the fatigue & walk about the house. If I engage in any physical activity, as all of us, I pay dearly for it soon after. I do not leave the house except for MD appt which I then am committed to a wheelchair due to the exhaustion. But all in all, I have improved from the past 8 months. I try hard to stay focused on the here and now but when I allow myself to wonder about my future, I feel very lost, mainly due to the incredible inconsistency of this crippling disease. I am blessed to have MD's that believe me with this disease & whole heartedly do everything they can to help me. My words of wisdom to anyone reading my post is to resist the spiritual warfare that Satan is assaulting us with. Pray as much as possible, keep your faith at 110%, and rejoice in Christ as this is nothing compared to what he suffered for all of us! God bless you & keep you all. One day he will return for us & we will be free from this hell.

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The Doctors Help
by: Beatrice M. Caraballo

I have now gotten to the point I hear so many recount, where the doctors start to treat you as if you are crazy - making the stories up or just looking for attention. I am fed up with this process. I push forward regardless because I believe with all my heart in God and His Almighty Power over me and my life. It is very difficult at times to even smile without wanting so bad to cry.

I feel and look deformed in my own way. I lost weight from 250 lbs. to 199 lbs., but now I am stuck with this belly and can't seem to loose anymore weight. Everyone says I look fabulous, but I don't feel fabulous. I am a size 12 sometimes a 14 because of this belly.

The pain stops me from really doing the workouts I was doing because now I need surgery in my left knee. It is difficult to even walk at times. Driving my beautiful car - yeah out of the question. I only drive sometimes because the majority of the time I prefer to call someone for a ride. I have thoughts of selling my car and just giving the money to my husband to buy his own.

I do the house chores and things I have to do but I seclude myself a lot just to avoid feeling the pain in front of others. Some of my closest friends and family now notice my facial expressions and my constant twitching when I am in pain so I can't hide it all the time. When I am in public, I simply put on the makeup, put on the shoes and put on a big huge smile after taking at least one or two pain pills to control all the twitching and muscle spasms.


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To Kimberlee from California
by: Beatrice Caraballo

Hello Kimberly,

It is hard to find the why in all this madness our world has become. I read and read and read your post and it reminded me so much of me. I too was into fitness (I was a competitive body builder) for many years. I weighed 150 lbs all my life now after starting all these changes - I have exactly what you described a belly that looks like I am pregnant. It is the most embarrassing part of this new body that gets exhausted quickly and when it functions properly it takes weeks to recover. I go in and out of depression, to be honest with you, but I keep my sight on God and try to focus on others so that I don't get caught up in my tears.

I love to drive my Jaguar, but now I can only drive sometimes and when I do - OMGosh the pain is horrendous from moving my arms so much and having my legs in the same position for too long. I miss driving myself around although I love that my husband is my new found driver.

I worked as a Business & Marketing Consultant/Event Planner for so many years, but now I can't sit at this stupid computer or Ipad for more than 30-40 minutes and that is stretching it because after 10 minutes the pain in my brain, neck and spine are out of control.

I will not take the medication you are taking because I am fearful of the after affects and I don't like even hearing those names. I get sick using Percocet, Vicotin, Oxycondin so I can imagine Valium. But if it works for you, much blessings my dear friend.

Keep us updated of all the changes in your life. I will keep you in my prayers every night.

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Praise God!
by: Pastor Buster

Praise God! I thank you for stepping out to use this situation in your life to encourage, sow hope, and minister to people; that they might remaining positive, come to trust the Lord, and overcome all things!

Mucho Love,

Pastor Buster

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Update since started on methadone
by: Kymberlee, San Diego

it's been about a year and have since I was started on the methadone and as I mentioned earlier it did help in elevating of the pain (from an 9 to a 3) and regaining function. they have added valium to my regimen now and that has made a significant improvement in my condition. I am typically pain free. I.mean no leg,back or neck pain.absolutely no joint pain or stiffness either. I have also learned that I can not lay down in bed 2 sleep and must not sleep longer than 5 hrs because I guess the immobility of sleeping causes me renewed pain & stiffness. I believe I have a severe form of fibro so what works 4 me might not b advisable to others. Unfortunately I cannot report that life has improved or that I have been able to return to work. I have now developed severe swelling in my legs , allodynia, my.belly looks as if I am 5 mths pregnant though I cannot eat anything but tea,coffee & toast. This is 100% true and though I am no longer fatigued, I can't do any excercise, not even walk my dog! Its as if I have no endurance. I will continue 2update u as things progress. But I suspect nothing will ever b the same again. The 115lb active fun gragorious health nut i was has been stolen & replaced with a sad 150lb isolated miserable woman waiting to finish her sentenced time. No, I promise u, I am not depressed just accepting the reality of it all. And boy, is it A LOT!! God Bless each one of you who share in the fibro misery. May the grace of God provide you some comfort as it does me.

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Reality
by: Beatrice Caraballo

Wow, I look at myself and can't believe all the changes I have gone through and all the changes that keep coming.

I had to stop working at my full time job 2 years ago because I just couldn't do it anymore and I did not want to hold back the company or make it suffer because of me. My daughter picked up the pieces after me by helping financially my husband. It shouldn't be this way, but a 9-5 is just not happening for me.

Although I must confess that I recently sent out my resume and prayed for someone to take me in, but God knows what He is doing in all of our lives... I got nothing in return. The pain is still here and the discomfort in my body, so I guess I have to find another avenue to make money and help my family.

I also have to confess to my biggest supporter which I call my nurse, doctor, cheerleader - my youngest daughter Crystal Caraballo. Wow she has seen my scream and cry endlessly from the pain. She has stayed with me through the nervous breakdown and the restless nights. She is awesome!!!

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All This Horrendous Pain
by: Beatrice [Betty] Caraballo

It has become more and more difficult at times to do my daily routines, but regardless I put on the armor of God and push forward - even with the pain. I have now found a lump on the back of my head and it has me scared, but I will not panic until I get it checked out then I will leave it in God's hands.

The constant pain in the back of my head is horrendous. At night it is almost impossible to sleep, especially on those nights the pain becomes my lover and refuses to leave me. You should smell me - I try everything to see if I myself can fix this darn thing called Fibromyalgia. I will rub everything from Vicks, Alcohol, Bengay, Icy Hot, put on heating pads all over my body - but nothing.

I have been crying alone lately because I hate having to ask for help from my kids or husband. I want to be independent but many times I can't be.

Driving is getting harder to do, but I still drive with caution and if the pain starts up when I am driving - I simply look for a safe place to pull over.

My left side has been giving me problems, especially my shoulder, arm and leg. There are times I go to sleep in full out tears.

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Health Update
by: Beatrice Caraballo

I am suffering from chronic health conditions such as 1. LORDOSIS of the lower back which at times takes away the mobility of my legs. I have fallen so many times in public (so embarrassing); at times I have to walk with a cane. 2. SCOLIOSIS is a medical condition in which the spine is curved from side to side and diminishes lung capacity. The pain is incredible at times. I also have 3. SPINAL DAMAGE to my L4 and L5 which have always limited my mobility. 4. HYPERLIPIDEMIA is a disorder of lipid metabolism that results in abnormally high levels of cholesterol, triglycerides and lipo-proteins in the blood circulation (I don't have bad cholesterol, but my good cholesterol is so low that it can not be of any help if I do get cholesterol) which affects my heart. 5. FIBROMYALGIA is medical disorder characterized by chronic widespread pain and heightened and painful response to pressure (which means I can't be touched or hugged at times). 6. BREAST CALCIFICATIONS are calcium deposits within the breast tissue, so I have to get a mammogram and ultrasound down every four months because I have heavy concentrate in my left breast which has the cancer specialist highly concerned. I will tell you that my report from 4 months ago says "Mrs. Caraballo you have beat cancer for now." AMEN I already had two tumors removed from my chest and one of them was logged in my bone and had to be scrapped off to remove it. And all of this has caused me 6. DEPRESSION. Thanks to God and my family I have been able to get out of bed and fight against all my odds. I was taking Physical Therapy and had a great Personal Fitness Trainer which helped me to get fit and even loose weight. God drove me into this path for a reason and I intend to push forward to victory. So I hope I can count on you to be a part of my victory!

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Hello
by: Annie

My name is Annie, and I have just been diagnosed. I am 53, have arthritis, and in case you are wondering, dyslexic, so - will apologize now for spelling errors. I feel lost, in pain and depressed, my job, well I am hanging on, but been off so long, worried about losing it now. I am taking pregabalin, morphine, Diazepam, and antidepressants. I can't walk very far, can't sit or stand for long. Why I am telling you all this , I don't know. You are all in this with me and that gives me great courage to know I am not alone, reading posts on here inspires me to fight on with this and know I am not alone. Thank you all so much xx

Hi, Annie. This is Anne and I edit this website. Thank you so much for your kind words to all of us. We are in for a fight to regain our dignity through recognition of our disease. But we need our community to get together. You say it so well ! Every post teach me a great deal and I’ll repeat one:

Gentle hugs to Annie and to you all!

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Kimberly
by: Anonymous

Anne - I am glad you know about this method of treatment and can help those that are not sure, but I wanted to know from Kimberly if it was something she was alright with and did it scare her to start such a treatment?

As a woman and mother of four - I have had to face many things in my life, this is difficult and challenging, but I can do it with God's love and grace.

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Stay strong everyone in God!!!
by: Beatrice Caraballo

Kimberlee,

Methadone is serious and dangerous. Are you sure you wanted to take that road? I have been blessed to maintain inner strength and faith in God because if not I would be crying everyday. I have to believe that each day He is working in my body and helping me to do the things I need to do even when I can't move as I use to. It is difficult to notice and see the changes in my life (I can't focus for too long, concentrate, write with flow, dance with the passion I use to, my voice has changed so I can't sing anymore). I have had to stop having the exercise discipline I use to have (every morning jog 4 miles without even breathing hard, lift weights, do yoga for at least 1 hour everyday) - I just can't do these simple things anymore. I tell you Kimberly and everyone else - STAY STRONG IN THE LORD!

Your friend Beatrice Maria

Anne's comment
Methadone is not as dangerous as it sounds but difficult to dose. In my team we believe that when taking any opiates, magnesium supplement is a must because it does help put a stop on "habituation and increasing doses". A book is in preparation about this. As for the magnesium form and dose, we have just published "Fibromyalgia Basic Care" that does treat this subject.
Fibromyalgia Basic Care
Thanks Beatrice for your comments and happy to see you're facing your disease! You're a real fighter!

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Betty you are not alone!
by: Kymberlee

Hi Betty, as I read your post I feel as if I wrote it. I share your pain both in your body and in your heart. I am a 42 y/o female. I have always been very active, full of life, of energy and laughter. But nowadays all are a thing few and in between. I have been put on methadone for the pain and it has helped relieve a lot of the pain but it has side effects and of course stigmas. My job is in jeopardy and I don't know what tomorrow holds as I feel as if all my dreams have been stolen and my goals well, let's just say they are very different now.
Just wanted to say you are not alone. We share a lot without even knowing each other. God is good and this is not a punishment just another challenge. Stay strong, let's chat and help each other

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The Brain
by: Beatrice Caraballo

My days are now becoming harder and harder, but I simply put on a smile and move forward. My cane has become my trusty friend even though I hate it. I don't use it everyday, but I am afraid of falling so I take it anyway.

I am now having really bad pain in the back of my head. It hurts so bad that I prefer not to comb my hair everyday. It hurts badly when I wash my hair. I can't focus or concentrate and to remember anything has become my enemy. It gets scary at times, especially when I am driving and can't remember directions.

I have to give thanks to my daughter, Crystal Antoinette (age 18) for being here for me when I am scared, crying or screaming with pain in my body. She has been my hands, arms, feet, brain and eyes when I am not functioning to my fullest.

Thank you Lord for granting me serenity and strength to not allow this crippling illness from stealing all my joy.

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God is Not a Cruel God!
by: Beatrice Caraballo

NO ONE DESERVES THIS CRIPPLING AND PAINFUL DISEASE REGARDLESS WHAT THEIR LIVES HAVE BEEN! GOD IS A MERCIFUL AND BEAUTIFUL GOD - HE IS NOT CRUEL!

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Wonder Why We Suffer
by: Anonymous

Think about our powerful lives, overflowing with LIFE, multitasking, always doing 20 plus things at a time, juggling all things and never stopping, sleep was most unnecessary and time was not wasted, not even a Breath. Life - Love - Sharing, caring, giving and being Everything! I will not believe that any of us suffer due to ANYTHING we have done in this life knowingly that would ever justify this type of physical and emotional tourture.. GOD is not cruel! This is not a punnishment Any spirit should ever have to indure.

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Wonder Why We Suffer
by: Anonymous

Think about our powerful lives, overflowing with LIFE, multitasking, always doing 20 plus things at a time, juggling all things and never stopping, sleep was most unnecessary and time was not wasted, not even a Breath. Life - Love - Sharing, caring, giving and being Everything! I will not believe that any of us suffer due to ANYTHING we have done in this life knowingly that would ever justify this type of physical and emotional tourture.. GOD is not cruel! This is not a punnishment Any spirit should ever have to indure.

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God's Mercy
by: Anonymous

God is merciful to the just. He punishes the evil doer. He hates a puffed up attitude and he hates the attitude of the unrighteous.

Have you ever wondered why you suffer?

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How I Wish...
by: Beatrice Caraballo

I am tired of people thinking they know what I am going through; what it is that I have; how perhaps I am imagining things - JUST STOP! LISTEN ONLY IF YOU REALLY CARE TO KNOW AND LEARN ABOUT ME AND WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME. DON'T TELL ME YOU KNOW IF YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE FIBROMYALGIA.

I have someone in my life that thinks I can control this thing - well I can't. I CAN'T BUT I WISH I COULD!!!

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Never Give Up
by: Beatrice Caraballo

How do I stop doing all the things I love to do? How do I change my lifestyle when my brain still thinks I am well? I organized my Annual Regional Conference on January 29, 2011 which brings over 100 representatives from all over the region. I took all my medication so I could be "superwoman" for a day. Yeah well I kid myself because the flare up was horrendous and in public. I cried, screamed and was so embarrassed because these people were the very ones that I never wanted to tell. God has a way of reminding you and humbling you.

I tried twizzing my eyebrows the other day (what a simple task right - wrong! the pain that came over my hands was intense. I was crying for hours.

I have always loved my long, full hair. I love to comb it, blow it and curl it - yeah well it is falling and falling; it is painful to hold the blower or even the curler. I have burnt marks on my face from the curler falling so many times because I just can't hold it. So I cut it even shorter than before and I think it is too long still.

Yes, I know how you feel and I truly understand how you don't want to give up but the pain takes control and let me tell you all I want to do is cry and go to sleep.

God is great though because He still brings the sun into my life everyday!

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Im Not Sure
by: Anonymous

I was just getting off the couch, which has become my bed, propped and misaligned the only way to achieve some rest.... wondering what I can do - not that the list is small - but the sun is shining and I would like to do something, walk and soak in the atmosphere, lay out by the pool and take a swim, do the errands so necessary, and most importantly get this house straightend so I could be more comfortable,.... whats the problem then,... shakey, immense pain, throbing, numbness and the inability to do any of the above mentioned. It is even difficult typing this in NOW. So what to do, Im not sure. This "Fibro" is a tough one to figure, from Superwoman to a Broken Woman,.. What to do? Never Quit, Never Give Up Never Give In and Always Fight for what you Believe in, it is that the fight part has almost gone, not much left to fight with... I know u understand... Just wanted to Chime In...

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How Much More???
by: Beatrice Caraballo

New symptoms are coming on and honestly I am getting more and more tired. I now have this tingling in my fingers that becomes pain instantly. At times I can't even hold my cane. At night have to sleep with winter mittens so my hands don't get cold and the pain is less.

The migraines are back with vengence. A few nights ago could not go to sleep with the pain pulsating in my eyes. The back of my head felt like a bomb ticking.

I feel like "Driving Miss Daisy" because I hardly drive. I usually have someone drive me because the pain and stress in my spine and arms is immense. I have a beautiful car that my amazing husband bought me parked in the driveway because I can only drive it SOMETIMES.

Wow, I have been hiding for so long and now everyone is asking me to come join them here and there, but I fear their reactions and comments.

Just wanted to share my updates....

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I've Always Admired you...now even more!
by: Anonymous

Mujer Hermosa! you know I alwyas call you that...and forever will...mis palabras no van a ser suficiente para aliviar tu dolor fisico, pero de corazon espero poder ayudar tu espiritu. He disfrutado momentos maravillosos contigo y nuestras sonrisas compartidas forman parte de mi vida. Eres una "SUPER WOMAN" y se que tu dolor fisico va a saciar poco a poco...que tu tus ganas de luchar sobrepase ese dolor; esa fortaleza que siempre has demostrado sigue en ti y lo se! Sabes que siempre estoy aqui para ti...te quiero mucho y formas parte de los deseos cuales suelto al universo! Ysa :)

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no matter what.
by: Juan Caraballo

i have seen you change because of this sickness.but let me tell you what hasn't change,my love. i love you still the same and will be here for you. i love you.

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Thank You
by: Anonymous

I woke up today and the pain in my throat, back, swollen hands and feet, the enourmous pain in the back of my neck and head is too much for me.

I had breakfast with the most amazing man in my life - my husband. Painted the lamp shades of my new lamps and then sat at the computer to upload photos on Facebook and check my Fibro Blog.

Sitting here has been such a struggle because of the pain in the back of my neck and head. As well as the burning in my eyes.

But reading these amazing blogs from my loving sister and great friend has certainly touched my soul. It is difficult everyone to let you into my life because I am not use to you seeing me this way, so please be patient.

Love you all for being my support always,
Betty

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My Dear Sister
by: Anonymous

My Loved and dear sister, I am so proud of you. You have come a long way. I have always known you as a strong and fired up person, one that doesn't gives up. The lion is not tame, he is still inside of you and still roaring. The pain and struggle is just another part of your life, one that is trying to take hold of your body,thoughs and emotions to keep the lion from getting stronger. I hope, that even though, this pain is holding you prisoner right now, you will be able to go on and fight for control of your life like you always have. Your pain is my pain, The Lord knows how much, I wish that you didn't have to feel like you do. Keep your faith, my love, there is a Higher Power as you well know. When you think you are alone, HE is carrying you in HIS arms and is LOVING you.

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Dear Friend
by: Carla P. Morales

Thank you for allowing me to become a part of what is now occurring in your life. It was a complete mystery to me before, but you've finally lifted the veil and allowed me to come in.

I will be constantly watching for your next post and sending my prayers and love your way.

Your Friend,
Carla

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Acceptance
by: Anonymous

Hello...Thank you for your warm and uplifting comments, but let me tell you it is so difficult to see myself in this new light.

I use to be a dancer, wow I would enter competitions and even won a few. I was a Jazz singer, but now my voice shakes, rattles and doesn't roll.

I simply hear my favorite music and let me tell you - my soul is on fire, but my body puts on the brakes really fast and I don't even try it. I use to be an Event Coordinator for Galas, Banquets and Fundraisers - it is too much work now for me.

I have been thinking about my other talents painting and refurbishing old/vintage furniture. It is something I can do at my own pace and it is the only way I can still be expressive and creative.

I would really like to know how to control all this pain that feels like it is tearing my body apart literally. I would like to learn how to accept who I am becoming now without any regrets.

Thank you my dear new Fibro friend.

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The Lion's Still Alive
by: Philippe

Hi Beatrice,

The lion may be tired but is still alive!
You are now part of a huge worldwide community: the fibromyalgia persons. And you'll have to deal with it because it's yours.
It's not you, it's yours.
You'll feel the lion is in a cage but you'll have to learn to put this fibro in a cage and look at it. OK, you can't get rid of it but you can control it by adapting your life around it. And that, my dear, you can and will succeed. The same way you have succeeded in your previous life, being a hyperactive person, now you're going to succeed as a fibro person. And in a few years you'll be so proud of yourself.
Sure you're not going to do it overnight. But, you did not achieve what you did overnight, isn't it? So let's make it a step-by-step approach. If you agree, we can help you by giving you counseling to help you sort out your problems. And together we'll help you and others.

Don't forget your not alone, and the lion will roar again!

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